Loving being a homeschooling Mom right now

Things are just going well. I have to admit...when they aren't going well, I'm largely at fault. I find that I get sucked so easily into spending hours online, just browsing, checking email, FB, and wasting valuable time, yet I'm always feeling like there is never enough "me time".

These last two weeks I have drastically limited myself from getting on the computer and have retaken the position of being mother and teacher. As I'm sure most homeschooling moms can relate, I'd turned into the "yeller".

"Get your math done!"
"Quit getting distracted and do your writing!"
"Have you finished your reading yet? NO? How many times do I have to remind you?"

I was no longer a teacher, instead I'd become a task master.

As motivation to get off the computer, I talked Kent into buying new curriculum (Latin, Greek Mythology, and Biblical Studies), a new laser printer and copier (LUV IT), and the Sony ereader for their various classical books. How come material things can be so motivating?

With all these new things as tools, I have started to be my children's teacher again. The house has been tidier, they have been happy to get their work done. We finish quickly, and there is more love in our home.

I've also really been concentrating on just loving them more. Finding that quiet time with them to just tell them that I love them and that I am glad they are in our family. Two weeks ago, all I wanted was a break and wanted to be as far away as possible from being a mother. It's counter-intuitive that to feel happier, I need to do the exact opposite of what I feel. I find that when I want to shirk my responsibility of being a mom, is precisely when I need to embrace it the most.

The rewards are pretty immediate. Abby finished the entire Greek Mythology book in one day (it was supposed to be a year long course!). Josh is now willingly doing school everyday (I had quit teaching him at all for about two months, because it was ruining our relationship). He even did a complete extra day of school today to earn a reward. He also loves cursive writing and loves to go the "extra mile" and complete more than he is assigned! Caleb is truly my son, (sharing my loves) reading about history and figuring out how things work (i.e. engines, weather, electronics, etc.). It will be interesting to see how school works out next year when I add Mimi to the mix. She is really loving preschool right now, but is very excited to be in our homeschool next year. Willsie's favorite thing to do is to play trains while we are in school, or loves to sit and read books as well.

I'm sure other moms struggle just like I do, being really "present" with your children, feeling connected with them. I thought Josh described it really well the other day.

"When I feel like you love me, and I love you, there is electricity that connects our hearts".

He's right, it feels exactly like that. For me there is nothing better, or more keenly missed, than having that connection of electricity between my heart and the people I love.

Does anyone else relate to what I'm talking about? Have you had to learn the same thing? Are you like me and you have to keep RElearning it?